Liverpool to sign Barcola after 25-word 'transfer bombshell'

Liverpool have been rocked by the revelation that Bradley Barcola plays for Paris Saint-Germain, whose next signing is a ‘boost’ for the Reds.

More Mediawatch nonsense is within. Football must return soon.

Brad news

When they aren’t being definitely bought by Jeff Bezos, Liverpool have busied themselves this summer trying to sign Bradley Barcola.

Considering they absolutely haven’t signed Bradley Barcola, it hasn’t gone particularly well so far. But still there are reports of ‘boosts’ and such to Liverpool’s hopes – like when someone moved to Monaco.

So it is a wonder Liverpool haven’t completed the deal yet when headlines like this from the Daily Mirror website keep cropping up:

‘PSG chief drops transfer bombshell on Liverpool target Bradley Barcola’

The ‘transfer bombshell’ in question – which is indeed sold as ‘a boost to Liverpool’s chances of signing’ Barcola – are contained entirely within these hilariously banal Nasser Al-Khelaifi quotes:

“We’re working calmly, we don’t talk too much. I can’t say whether he will leave or not. Today, he is a PSG player. We’ll see.”

Combine that with this London Evening Standard story…

‘Liverpool handed major Bradley Barcola transfer boost as PSG ‘agree 42.7m deal”

…about PSG signing Ferran Torres, and the white smoke is pretty much rising from Anfield.

Not sure how either of those things help Liverpool stump up the £145m required to persuade PSG into selling someone they don’t need to, but still.

U.G.L.Y, you ain’t got no alibi

Oliver Holt is especially offended at the idea Manchester City might be interested in signing the obviously talented and obviously problematic Enzo Fernandez this summer.

He writes in the Daily Mail that Enzo Maresca’s job will be made ‘a whole lot harder’ if he is given a £120m signing he has worked with auspiciously before.

‘City under Guardiola were the team of gifted stars like Kevin De Bruyne and Bernardo Silva. They were the team of Rodri and Ilkay Gundogan, Jack Grealish and Erling Haaland. They were a team that put a smile on the face of any neutral that watched them,’ Holt writes, slightly exaggerating the supposed ‘neutral’ view of a team often chastised as boring and sterile.

But this is just weird:

‘The purchase of Fernandez, if it happens, will change that. Fernandez is a fine player but his quality comes at a high cost in terms of the image of the team he plays for. The wisest managers buy character as well as quality.

‘The truth is that if City buy Fernandez, it will represent not just a downgrade on Rodri but a reversal of much that the club stood for under Guardiola. It will represent an embrace of the ugly side of the game. It will be a transfer that stands for cynicism. It will be a move that says City are swapping beauty for the game’s dark arts.’

Rodri being the master of ‘the game’s dark arts’, and Manchester City being the club of 115 charges, it doesn’t really feel like Fernandez would be the straw that breaks the camel’s back in terms of ‘image’, ‘cynicism’ and ‘an embrace of the ugly side of the game’.

And yes, ‘the wisest managers buy character as well as quality’. But let’s not pretend any coach or club is immune to eschewing the former in hopeful favour of the latter. Fernandez is a d*ck but he’s no Benjamin Mendy.

Hot Rod

On the vague subject of Rodri…

‘HUMBLE Rodri boarded a Ryanair flight back to England amid speculation surrounding his Manchester City future’ – The Sun website.

You sure that ‘high-flying’ Rodri wasn’t ‘spotted penny pinching’ having ‘slummed it’?

Let’s talk about Cesc, baby

‘Former Arsenal wonderkid Cesc Fabregas teases shock Max Dowman Como transfer as he tips teen for stardom’ – The Sun website.

‘Teases’ is immediately relegated to ‘joked’ in the first paragraph, and even that seems a generous description of Fabregas saying “if they want to give us some players as well… we can take them”.

FOREIGN affairs

While the Thomas Tuchel stuff has died down since the World Cup – that post-tournament ‘probe’ must have come to nothing – there is a timely reminder in The Sun that he shan’t simply get away with a) what happened this summer, and far more unforgivably b) being German.

Take it away, Charlie Wyett:

‘Inside Thomas Tuchel’s England plans after World Cup heartbreak with German set to take stars on FOREIGN training camp’

A FOREIGN training camp?! Absolutely despicable. Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham should be dragged in from Munich and Madrid, bungled into a coach and dragged to the Peak District, ffs.

And this, by the way, will be happening ‘just weeks after the World Cup’. Which should leave us all shocked and indignant. Probably.

Wyett does indeed take us ‘inside Thomas Tuchel’s England plans’, but these paragraphs do not exactly imply knowledge from someone in the know:

‘The Three Lions will face the Czech Republic in the Nations league on October 3 with Prague the likely venue.

‘Yet, four days later, England are also away to Croatia in the coastal city of Rijeka.

‘And the squad look unlikely to return home and instead, will spend extra days training abroad.

‘This could either be in the Czech Republic or Croatia.’

It could. Who knows? Doesn’t matter. FOREIGN either way, init?

Oh, and also, England play Czechia on September 29 with Prague the known venue, not October 3 with Prague the likely venue. They do indeed then travel to face Croatia four days later, the time in between which they will train abroad – probably in either of those countries – instead of returning to England only to fly back out again a couple of days later.

It cannot be stressed enough how much of a complete non-story this is, ‘inside’ or otherwise.

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