From Black Caps firebrand to counsellor: Kerry Walmsley’s second innings

But Walmsley now inhabits his gentler side, away from the sporting arena – as a newly qualified counsellor.

Aged 52, Walmsley recently graduated from Manukau Institute of Technology (MIT) with a Bachelor of Applied Counselling.

He has launched a new business too – Kerry Walmsley Counselling – offering talk therapy for anxiety, grief and loss, separation, addiction, depression and other human struggles.

His new career builds on the years he’s spent mentoring those in high-performance sporting environments – including his elite athlete daughter Amelia Walmsley, who currently plays for the Silver Ferns and Stars netball teams.

It’s work that also draws on the tough times he’s lived through personally, like his separation after 25 years of marriage, and some of the pain related to his top-level sporting career.

“I have a recurring nightmare ... I’ve been picked for New Zealand again and I never ever get back on the park,” he told the Herald.

“I miss the van, or I get to the ground and [it’s] literally like a doorless and windowless wall.

“I’ve had it for probably 15 years ... it’s horrible and I wake up sweating bullets.

“Even when I do get in, I’ve gone to the wrong ground, or I continually miss the bus, or get on the bus and my bag is not packed, or I’ve forgotten my trousers.

“I think it talks to the fact I feel like I didn’t fulfil my potential and I’ve only really got myself to hold to account to that. It is that sort of hollow feeling.”

Cricket also gave Walmsley a lot. Travels with the Black Caps took him to Sri Lanka and Pakistan.

And he met his now ex-wife Lesley – the mother of their three children – on a cricket tour of Australia.

‘It feels like where I belong’

Walmsley made his last appearance for New Zealand in a one-day international against Pakistan in Faisalabad in December 2003.

The trained primary school teacher took on some short-term teaching, then a six-year stint handling operations and events at the New Zealand Cricket Players’ Association.

He was also involved in the association’s career and personal development programme for cricketers.

For a period, Walmsley juggled being a stay-at-home dad, worked on his properties, and took part-time work with fellow ex-Black Cap Dion Nash’s men’s skincare company Triumph & Disaster.

“I took some time to kind of reflect on what I had done, and what I really enjoyed, and that was ... guidance and mentoring. I love hearing people’s stories and perspectives,” Walmsley said.

So in 2022, aged 49, he began three years of study towards a Bachelor in Applied Counselling at MIT.

“I didn’t want to settle for a job I wasn’t passionate about,” he said.

When asked how some of his ex-teammates had reacted to his career switch, Walmsley joked: “Half of the old cricket guys are now my clients.

“They’ve been super supportive. I think they saw that I was always trying to contribute towards winning performances, was always very aware of supporting others ...

“There’s probably been the odd one [surprised] knowing that early on [in my cricket career], I’d fly off the handle a little bit.”

‘As a sportsperson ... it’s easy to play the victim card’

Sporting excellence runs in the Walmsley family.

His daughter Amelia has represented the Silver Ferns since 2023; 20 years on from her dad’s final appearance for the Black Caps.

The elite 22-year-old shooter was also the captain of the New Zealand side that came second in last year’s Under-21 World Cup in Gibraltar.

Amelia has previously spoken of how her dad had offered her emotional support during some of the most trying times of her fledgling career; including when she was battling potentially serious knee and shoulder injuries.

Last year she told Woman’s Day how her dad had been a “massive influence on my life and super-supportive since I was really young”.

“He’s one of those dads who wants his kids to be happy and does whatever he can to make that happen.”

The former cricket international said just like him, Amelia was “super competitive”.

Walmsley said when asked for advice by Amelia, it was mainly around offering perspective, reminding her to be present, “and the last thing I always say to her is enjoy because it does go quick”.

His advice to his daughter was to spend time on things that brought her joy.

“It doesn’t have to be a whole day off, it could just be an hour,” Walmsley said.

“It is just working out what fills her cup, whether it is popping off to a waterfall or a bush walk with a friend ... it helps you stay present.”

Walmsley has reflected on aspects of his cricket journey and now believes he was sucked into a “bubble” and lost perspective at times.

He said his studies have grown and extended him, and allowed him to “get really honest” with himself.

“Everyone who does this degree has had to face their demons and not just you know, the story that we wake up and tell ourselves in our head ... sometimes that story’s maybe not quite the truth,” he said.

“As a sports person at times, maybe it’s easy to play the victim card a bit. With selections and things like that, not actually [being] properly honest.

“Maybe you need to unhook from that sort of victim mentality ... and focus on what you can control and get better and just be honest with yourself.”

Separation sadness: Walmsley’s regrets

Among the services Walmsley offers is relationship counselling, and work around relationship and marriage breakups.

Figures released by Stats NZ earlier this month show the divorce rate in 2025 eclipsed the marriage and civil union rates.

Last year, 7887 couples called it quits; a 5% increase from the 7497 recorded in 2024.

The pain of separation is something Walmsley has lived through; splitting with Lesley during the Covid-19 pandemic.

They had been a couple for 25 years after meeting on the dancefloor of an Australian nightclub during a 1996 cricket tour. “Really romantic, hey,” he said.

He said the end of their relationship six years ago was “really hard” and not something he had wanted.

Although time has healed some of those wounds, Walmsley says he still feels some regret and frustration.

“We were together for 25 years, it’s a long time,” he said. “It is what it is and I am happy now.”

He has moved forward, just like he hopes to help his clients to do.

Walmsley met his current partner while studying at MIT – she too was studying for a Bachelor in Applied Counselling.

He referenced her during his valedictorian speech, telling his classmates: “It has been an honour walking alongside all of you. You’ve challenged me, supported me, humbled me, and one of you in particular now sleeps next to me.”

Walmsley enjoys his relationship-focused work. Every relationship and every breakup is different, he said, and has its own “pressure points”.

When separating couples have children, finding a way to be “amicable” can be hugely beneficial, he said.

“If you are able to maintain a relationship to whatever level with the person you’re separating with ... having that very much as a focus ... then the by-product is that your kids will be looked after,” Walmsley said.

“You won’t have those situations where dad’s saying this about mum or mum’s saying this about dad, because that relationship is nurtured.”

The nature of some breakups meant that was “a lot easier said than done.

“Someone’s been hurt, someone’s been told that they’ve been left and someone’s going to feel aggrieved,” he said.

Some jilted parties could also fall back into a “victim mentality”.

Walmsley’s new career sees him become part of a growth area in New Zealand society.

Ministry of Health research released last year showed 14% of adults visit a counsellor or psychologist each year.

Almost a quarter of young adults – aged between 15-25 – reported experiencing high or very high psychological distress; a figure that has almost tripled in 10 years.

Walmsley said he couldn’t offer specific “gold nuggets” to those going through tough times – mental distress was “a bit more complex than that”.

But it can help if people will be brutally honest with themselves. “We can kind of get caught telling a story that may not exactly be the truth,” Walmsley said.

We should take time to understand our own values and belief systems, even if it’s challenging to do, he said.

“There are a lot of people going through pain and in challenging positions they are not in control of and haven’t been for a long time – yet there is choice, as much as people can’t see it,” Walmsley said.

“If you have the ability to unhook from that kind of spiralling [that helps]. Because if we continue to tell ourselves the story that sometimes is actually not the truth, then that’s what we continue to tell ourselves.”

Neil Reid is a Napier-based senior reporter who covers general news, features and sport. He joined the Herald in 2014 and has 34 years of newsroom experience.

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